Self sabotage and bad hair days

11 Sep

as of late have accounted many tidbits of knowledge throughout my nursing career, but the other night I was walking down the hall at about 0330, slightly groggy when a patient stopped me in the hallway. She asked me where the linens were and I helped her to the wardrobe to collect what she needed. She then turned around and asked me “What are your credentials dear?” And I had to laugh because the idea of presenting credentials to get a towel was hilarity. But I nicely told this woman I was an LPN, I had been a nurse going on 4 years and the fields I had worked in. She then asked me something I had not been asked before, she said “So, what next?” And I had to mull on this question because the next question was usually “Are you getting your RN?” But “what next” seemed so open, and limitless that I had to think about it a second.

I told the lady I really would have to get my RN license if I wanted to progress in nursing but that I really dreaded nursing school again. She then looked at me and said “Don’t sabatoge yourself honey, you only get one shot at this.” And I swear to you those words from that 80 something year old lady have circled in my head like water around a drain. How many times do we hate our job, hate our town, hate our cars, relationships, etc but instead of changing it, we develop a sense of self loathing? Telling ourself we deserve to be unhappy based on choices we’ve made instead of being proactive in changing the bad, it’s a nasty thing to do to ourselves.

Maybe it’s because I’m a millennial child, a person of futuristic flower child mentality, but I myself, and so many like me value human experience over luxury. I feel like my generation is more apt to base their life on the things they have done rather than the things they have. There is no shame in struggle, there is no solace in the stagnant and it’s okay to be unsure.
The last bit of wisdom this lady offered me was “If you’re wondering, I’m going to wash my hair. A bad hair day is something I try to avoid for sure.” I couldn’t help but to think of her last week when I was getting my hair colored. I smiled.

That’s all I know for now.

Jess

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